Fable 3: Thanks a Bunch for Wasting My Time

CONTAINS MINI SPOILERS. Just in case anyone in the world hasnt played it yet.
Dear Lionhead:
Less time on trailers, more time on game.
I am still faithful. But I wish you would work harder and screw around less.
Achievements are funny. But i would rather not go through the whole game looking for one chest item only to find that it only appears randomly in certain people's games. I dont want to get on the xbox network just to get the color of paint that i wanted to use on my underwear.
The storyline had promise in 3 but you ruined it by cutting it off early (literally). 365 days?! fuck you. To win i would have had to stand around for hours waiting for rent to come in and fixing up my properties. (WHICH I HAD TO DO ONE BY ONE?) There was NO OTHER WAY to make money. Admit it. Playing the fucking lute was a waste of time. especially with the way the engine lagged. Fines for killing citizens? Fuck that. Being evil was a horrid horrible stupid struggle to even finish the damn game. YOU CANT FINE ME. I AM EVIL. Then you have to stand there playing the lute for 7 hours just to work off your debt for killing one measly citizen. That fuckwit started it anyway... It wasn't my fault that I had to go and endanger myself after having to flirt and dance with him and often fart in his face (he liked it like that?) JUST TO BE HIS MOTHERFUCKING FRIEND. Yeah. Screw you. I am just going to go and kill goblins for a reason that doesn't have anything to do with you.
Sword? I have no sword. Melee was useless. The only person that i ever watched play a melee weapon for serious was one of those people who you want to scream at because they will not leave any stone unturned in a game. Playing melee wasn't to challenge yourself, playing melee was a way to torture and keep you from ever completing the game ever.
Magic on the other hand was cheerfully overpowered. once you upgraded all the way, two hits? Yeah screw the 'You are in serious danger' music. I am not in serious danger. Ever. Enemies only prove to be annoying obsticals in the way of you and finding all 300 possessed gnomes. I DID however like the spellweaving. I know that this adds to a lot of the overpoweredness of the magic but, it looked really cool to throw a level 3 ice and wind. I usually did it when there were no enemies around. The best combo was Fire and wind.
Your brother is a pussy. Let's just leave it at that.
Your citizens are ignorant AI douchebags. DON'T LOOSE THE GAME. THEY WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU EVER EVER. 'Look guys. I know that orphans are kindof a big deal. But we really needed that building for prostitutes. See that wooden sword you are holding? Yeah, Charmaigne here paid for that.'
I am not a deadbeat. I just didnt get enough gameplay time to wait for people to pay their rent. (365 FUCKING DAYS???? FUCK THAT SHIT.)
Afterwards though, i just let the game sit and went to work. When i came back i stood on my pile of money in my palace all alone except for my daughter whose dad i stole from some other random wench, and wondered why i didnt do this 345 days ago when i had a chance. Oh, that's right. I didn't get a warning. I just got bombarded with hard decisions for '365' days. Now because i DIDN'T drain Bowerstone lake and allow Reaver to freely feed on everyone's souls, they all hate me?
I think we can retire Theresa now. Thanks for making her a random, removed character in this game. Just like everyone else in the AI. I felt no connection to her whatsoever. The only characters that i felt ANYTHING twards were:
Walter Beck: Father figure, even though he isn't. I actually cried a little at the end.
Reaver: C'mon. how can you NOT love how much you hate this fucker?
Elliot/Elise: The only attractive NPCs in the game. Except for Ben Finn. But he is a major dick.

And so, Lionhead, if you could stop dicking around with acheivements and work on the social interactions so that i dont have to choose between flirting with someone im not into but need to forge a lasting relationship with and farting in their face, that would make "Fable:The Journey" so much better.

-This has been a rant brought to you by colorWIRED